📋 Contents
- Whose meeting is it?
- A simple 30-minute agenda
- Questions to bring: priorities and work
- Questions to bring: feedback
- How to raise growth and career topics
- How to raise workload without sounding like you’re complaining
- Your first 1:1 with a new manager
- Skip-level 1:1s: what to ask your manager’s manager
- Making remote 1:1s work
- What to avoid in a one-on-one
- Follow-up notes after each meeting
- Before-the-meeting checklist
PART 1
Whose meeting is it?
Opinions differ on who should own the 1:1 agenda, and some managers bring a fixed template of their own. In practice you get the most out of it when you treat it as your meeting: add your topics to the shared doc in advance, lead with what you need, and write down what was agreed. Your manager can still add items; a shared running doc, with the newest meeting at the top, makes that easy.
Status updates can usually go in writing. Use the meeting for things that need conversation: decisions, problems, feedback, priorities and your development.
PART 2
A simple 30-minute agenda
| Time | Topic | Purpose |
|---|---|---|
| 5 min | Quick check-in | How things are going overall, anything urgent |
| 10 min | Your top 1–2 topics | Decisions you need, problems, ideas |
| 5 min | Priorities check | Confirm you are working on what matters most |
| 5 min | Feedback or growth | One rotating topic: feedback, skills, career |
| 5 min | Wrap-up | Agree on next steps and owners |
✍️ Agenda you can send the day before
1:1 agenda — [date]
1. Need a decision: should the client pilot start before or after the holiday freeze?
2. Workload: three new requests this week; want to check priorities.
3. Growth: would like your view on whether I could lead the next vendor review.
FYI (no discussion needed): weekly update sent Friday; migration on track.
💡 Send it in advance
Sharing the agenda a day ahead lets your manager think or gather information, so decisions can be made in the meeting instead of "let me get back to you."
PART 3
Questions to bring: priorities and work
- Of what I am working on, what matters most to you this month?
- Is there anything I am spending time on that you would drop?
- What is coming up in the next quarter that I should prepare for?
- How does my current project connect to what leadership is focused on?
- Is there a decision you are waiting on from me, or I from you?
PART 4
Questions to bring: feedback
General questions like "any feedback?" usually get "you’re doing great." Ask about something specific and recent.
- In yesterday’s client call, what is one thing I could have done better?
- How did my proposal come across to the leadership team?
- What is one thing I should keep doing, and one thing I should change?
- If you were in my role, what would you be doing differently right now?
- Is there anything you have heard about my work, positive or negative, that I should know?
⚠️ Respond, don’t defend
When you get critical feedback, thank your manager, ask one clarifying question ("can you give me an example?"), and come back later with what you will change. Arguing in the moment makes people stop giving you honest feedback.
PART 5
How to raise growth and career topics
Career conversations do not need to wait for review season. Bring one up every month or two, and be concrete about what you want.
✍️ Ways to open the topic
"I’d like to spend part of our time today on my development. Over the next year I want to move toward leading projects. What would you need to see from me to make that happen?"
"I enjoyed the data work on the last project. Are there opportunities to do more of that here?"
"What skills do people at the next level have that I should be building now?"
- What would a strong next year look like for me in this role?
- What is the gap between where I am and the next level?
- Is there a stretch project coming up I could take on?
- Who in the company should I learn from?
PART 6
How to raise workload without sounding like you’re complaining
Workload problems are easier to solve early. The key is to bring facts and a proposal, not only a feeling of being overwhelmed.
List what is on your plate
Write out current projects and requests with rough effort and deadlines.
Name the conflict
"These three are all due this week, and together they are more than I can finish well."
Propose an option
"I suggest finishing the client report first, pushing the internal deck to next Friday, and handing the data request to the analytics team. Does that match your priorities?"
Ask for a decision
Let your manager choose. They may know about priorities you do not.
💡 Trade-offs, not refusals
Framing workload as "which of these should come first?" turns a difficult conversation into a priority decision, which is your manager’s job to make.
PART 7
Your first 1:1 with a new manager
A new manager, whether you changed teams or they just arrived, is the moment to set expectations both ways. They are forming an impression of you, and they probably do not know what you worked on before they came. Bring a one-page summary of your current projects and recent results, and ask about how they like to work.
- How do you prefer to get updates: a weekly written note, Slack, or in our 1:1s?
- What does great performance look like in this role, from your point of view?
- What are your top priorities for the team in the next quarter?
- How do you like to give feedback, and how would you like to receive it from me?
- When should I loop you in versus just make the call?
- How often should we meet, and is this time slot working?
💡 Hand over your history
A short summary of what you delivered under your previous manager helps make sure that work is not lost at review time. Your brag document is the obvious source.
PART 8
Skip-level 1:1s: what to ask your manager’s manager
Many companies encourage occasional skip-level meetings with your manager’s manager. They are not for going around your manager, and they work best when you treat them as a chance to understand the bigger picture and be known as someone thoughtful.
- What are the biggest priorities for the org this year, and what worries you most?
- How does our team’s work fit into those priorities?
- What do the strongest people at my level do that others don’t?
- Is there anything you think our team could be doing better or differently?
⚠️ Don’t use it to complain about your manager
If there is a serious problem with your manager, raise it with HR or through the appropriate channel. Unprompted criticism in a skip-level tends to reflect on you, and it reaches your manager anyway.
PART 9
Making remote 1:1s work
- Keep the camera on if you can. Tone and hesitation carry a lot in feedback conversations.
- Use one shared running doc for the agenda and notes, linked in the calendar invite.
- Don’t multitask. Close Slack for the 30 minutes; your manager can usually tell.
- If you are in different time zones, rotate or pick a slot that is not the end of anyone’s long day.
- Occasionally use the time for a walk-and-talk call with no screen, especially for career topics.
PART 10
What to avoid in a one-on-one
- Reading out your task list. Send status in writing.
- Saving all problems for the meeting if they are urgent; raise urgent issues when they happen.
- Leaving without clear next steps.
- Using every meeting to vent. Bring problems with at least one possible solution.
- Canceling repeatedly. If there is nothing to discuss, keep it short rather than skipping it.
PART 11
Follow-up notes after each meeting
Within a few hours, send a short note of what was agreed. It prevents misunderstandings and builds a record of decisions, feedback and growth conversations that becomes valuable at review time.
✍️ Follow-up note template
1:1 notes — [date]
Decided: Client pilot starts after the holiday freeze (Jan 8).
Priorities: Client report first; internal deck moves to next Friday.
Feedback: Lead with the recommendation in client calls.
Growth: You will check whether I can co-lead the vendor review in Q1.
My actions: Update pilot plan by Wednesday.
Your actions: Confirm vendor review role by end of month.
Keep these notes in one running document. Before your review, they show the feedback you acted on and the commitments both of you made. Pair them with a 4-week review preparation plan and you will rarely be surprised.
PART 12
Before-the-meeting checklist
☐ Agenda sent at least a day before, with your top one or two topics first.
☐ Any decision you need is phrased as a clear question.
☐ Status already shared in writing.
☐ One feedback or growth question ready.
☐ Notes document open to capture next steps.
Frequently asked questions
Q. What should I talk about in a 1:1 with my manager?
Decisions you need, problems or risks, a check on priorities, feedback on recent work, and your growth. Leave routine status for a written update so the meeting is spent on things that need conversation.
Q. Who should set the 1:1 agenda?
Practices vary, but you usually get more from the meeting when you add your topics to a shared doc beforehand. Your manager can add theirs too.
Q. How often should one-on-ones happen?
Weekly or every two weeks is common. If yours are rarer, ask for a regular slot, even 20 minutes, rather than relying on ad-hoc chats.
Q. What if my manager keeps canceling?
Ask whether a shorter or different time would work better, and keep sending a written agenda and update so important topics still reach them.
Q. Should I bring personal issues to a one-on-one?
Share what affects your work and what support would help, to the degree you are comfortable. You do not need to share private details.
Q. What if I have nothing to discuss?
Use the time for a growth or feedback question, or ask about upcoming priorities. A short meeting is better than none.
Q. Is it okay to discuss compensation in a one-on-one?
Yes, though it works best as a planned topic rather than a surprise. Let your manager know in advance that you want to discuss it, and bring evidence.
Q. How do I bring up a conflict with a colleague?
Describe specific situations and their effect on the work, say what you have already tried, and ask for advice rather than a verdict.
Q. Should I take notes during the meeting?
Yes, briefly. Then send the cleaned-up next steps afterward so both of you have the same record.
This article is general guidance. Review formats, rating scales and expectations vary by company — check your own company’s guidelines alongside it.
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